Is my phone my best friend?

A dramatic recanting of my social media detox.

The other morning I had an eye-opening epiphany regarding the time I spend on my phone, and how it has been affecting me mentally and physically. Over the course of the last few days, I have been pondering over this sudden realization. It went a little something like this:

Three days ago, July 15, 9:00 am:

The sun was shining in my bedroom, I drifted awake. I felt rested. Intuitively, without thinking, immediately after my eyes opened that morning, I rolled over and grabbed my phone. In those two minutes that my eyes were open, I had already unlocked my phone and began scrolling on Instagram. I was around seven story watches and ten mindless feed scrolls in when I became aware of what I was doing. I did not feel so rested anymore. My eyes hurt, and I felt groggy. Now this “routine” had been repeated almost every morning this summer, causing what I first consume each day to be photos of people I don’t even know, that I felt I had to like, and biased information about the next thing the media has decided is destroying the world.

The realization of what I was doing made me stop and genuinely ask myself, “Why am I doing this right now? I don’t care about any of this.” Furthermore, I tried to remember any of the information or photos I had just seen but I couldn’t. After looking into this further, according to sleepfoundation.org, it takes approximately fifteen to sixty minutes for your brain to “wake up” and become fully functional. For months I had unknowingly been disrupting my brain’s ability to properly transition out of a sleeping state.

Today, July 18, 3:00 pm:

Now, the reason I retold what happened that morning is because that was the first time I really started thinking that my phone was a problem. Hours spent watching TikTok or Instagram reels that could have been spent elsewhere. The impulse to check my notifications for no reason, or end up on social media due to my brain being programmed to take me there. Daily activities interrupted by: “Where’s my phone?” “Oh one second I just need to grab my phone first.” Suddenly it dawned on me: is my phone my best friend?

My phone was almost replacing interactions with people. I would struggle to not pick it up during family dinners, or during conversations. I could not sit down and watch a full movie without getting bored half-way through and scrolling. I even notice it happening to my friends. Occasionally when I am trying to talk, they have their face in their phone. The online world is slowly replacing real life. The ability to interact as humans is being lost since now you can hide behind a screen and type what you have to say.

I have tried to mend this issue in the past by deleting social media, multiple times, the only problem is it never really stuck. Sometimes I could not even make it a day without feeling this sudden dread that I was missing out on something. Only then to redownload it and realize nope, everything is the same. I was stuck in this mental cycle of trying to rid myself of being chronically online until one day it just clicked. There is so much more to life than social media.

You may be thinking, yeah obviously social media is not everything. However, it is designed to make you believe that it is. It sucks you in and gets you hooked, and now I am writing an article about how I had to literally escape it. Just thinking about this was making me crazy and honestly feel ridiculous, so I decided to fix it. I logged on to Instagram and went through my account. I came to terms with the fact that every time I did something I wanted to take a picture and post it online. Why could I not enjoy life without sharing it with the world? I also went through the people I was following. A majority of it was people that I have never met in my life. Did I just follow them for a follow back and also, why am I following people who were not kind to me? That unfollow button is daunting and it took me a minute to use it, but once I did I could not stop. It felt so good to remove myself from certain individuals in that sense. Anxiety did cross my mind of what if they realize I unfollowed them and then they get mad and hate me. Then, a minute later, I realized how absolutely insane that sounded and went on about my business. The last step was the delete button. I told myself it was different this time, that there was so much time being wasted that could be filled with things I love to do. So I hit delete.

It’s been two days now without social media and I will tell you everything I have done: finished a book, started a new book, began journaling again, swam in my pool, picked up watercoloring, went for a bike ride, watched a show without scrolling, hung out with my mom, texted a long-distance friend, did laundry, cleaned my room, went to the gym, and wrote this article.

I hope this finds someone who needs it. This article was slightly dramatic in telling, but I think it needed to be. Our lives are not on our phones or computers, they are out there ready to be lived. Take this as an invitation to reflect on your own life and the things you love to do. Do not waste precious moments living in other people’s through a screen.

Best wishes xxx

A.P